The word itself stings and hurts.

: a feeling of guilt, regret, or sadness that you have because you know you have done something wrong

a :a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety

I would like to shed a light on the significance I allow this word to have in my life. Growing up, I had a lot of expectations put on me which isn’t a bad thing by itself. Where the less than good enters is what happens when you don’t live up to those expectations and you disappoint or anger the powers that be.

Maybe you begin to expect those same things out of yourself. Then the shame comes not only from without bit from within.

To be told by someone you’re not good enough is one thing…

To believe it for yourself is another…

As long as I can remember, when I mess up, there comes with that mistake a lot of baggage that grows teeth and eats me up inside.

Because I equate mistakes with me being a mistake. My failures mean I am a failure.

But God…

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

God sees through our shame, our pride, our hurt and still Loved us enough to sacrifice for us…. God still sees through my hurt and my shame.

Have you heard people say be prepared when you ask for humility, to learn how to extend grace and love instead of impatience and frustration? God answers… And He teaches you.. How better to learn than to be humbled yourself and have human grace extended to you. how it hurts though

I end with this verse to remind you to Whom you answer to in the end… And it’s not that authority figure, your friend, your boss, a stranger… No, when you know where you’re expectations can and should lie, the puzzle pieces come together.

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved.

Psalm 62:5,6