Hi, I’m Amanda. And I’m a people pleaser.
You will notice I have only one other post below this one. From 2011. Yep. That doesn’t mean I haven’t written other posts. It just means I wasn’t happy with them. Probably like I won’t be with this one.
I have a tendency to over think things, make things harder than they actually are and I criticize myself too much. And I allow myself to think others are also critical of me. Hence the only post on my whole beauteous blog – because that one’s not controversial. I won’t have anyone leave a comment or email me telling me of my doctrinal errors or how I shouldn’t be thinking this, that or the other. Because it’s ok to like things. Just don’t like them too much.. that’s not Christian (P.S. that’s sarcasm).
So… I know that there will be some that relate and some that won’t. I appreciate my husband in a big way because he doesn’t run everything he does through the filter of what others will think of him. I, on the other hand, filter, um, everything I do through the filter of what my fellow church members, my parents, my parents friends, my friends, other Christians, etc will think of me . Because Heaven forbid we disagree and then you don’t like me and then you just decide to not love me, right? Usually I would insert this disclaimer for those who need one about how we care to an extent because we need to be good testimonies, etc, etc… <— Oh, look! Guess I did it anyway…
There is a bevy of things I could just write and write about. Does that make me seem self-absorbed? (wink)
But really… is caring so much about what other people can say and do selfish? Maybe! I mean, what if you have the very words to encourage someone or maybe bring clarity to an issue and you hold back? God not only wants to use us but wants us to be available for His use. I’m not here to try and teach you anything. None of what I said is new revelation; my goal going forward is to make blogging a regular thing. The reason the name of my blog is my name is because it gives me the freedom to talk about anything my little heart desires. And there’s a lot I desire to talk about, but inhibiting myself because I’m scared of what people might think has to end.
I look forward to sharing how I’ve change over the years. Not that I’m anything special but my God is. I’m not who I used to be and I’m not yet done becoming who I will be.
You are special, beautiful and loved… That is the truth, never forget it.